Self Esteem, a myth?


I grew up ugly, no I’m not exaggerating, I started getting acne (no not small zits that some people think will end their social life), at the age of 13. From there, it only got worse, by the time I was 14/15 my entire face was covered in acne, my forehead, my nose, my cheeks. It just kept getting worse despite me using high quality skin ranges and going for facials religiously.

Because of the acne and scars, I turned to make up at the age of 15. I was introduced to a full coverage foundation, that was dewy but not oily, and didn’t exaggerate the texture on my skin. I was thrilled, I didn’t look bad when I went somewhere, my acne was covered, my face had no scars and my face didn’t look like an oil slick, but that boost in confidence didn’t last long.

As my acne got worse, I got more comments, horrible comments. I was told numerous times that I was ugly, my face was dirty, I looked terrible, and surprisingly it wasn’t from kids at school, it was from family and people who were close to me. I can’t talk about this without crying because I’m transported back into a time where I spent hours looking at my face in the mirror and crying, wishing I looked “normal”.

People don’t realize what they say, sticks. That you remember every hurtful word that left their mouth, and if it comes up in a conversation, they ask why you hold grudges towards them, it’s not a grudge, its words that can never be forgotten because of the nature of it. 14 and 15 were probably the worst years of my life. I never cried so much ever. I was depressed, but no one cared enough to notice. I dealt with my depression in my own way, and it finally started to fade when I met my boyfriend. My nonexistent self-esteem started poking its head into my life. Even with the acne, I was made to feel pretty by him, my acne eventually got sorted out, because of him, depression left my life, because of him.


Self-esteem is a tricky thing, you may feel unwanted, inferior, like you’re not enough, but one day something will happen/someone will come along that will make you realize, that you are worth more than you think, that your flaws are considered beautiful by someone else. I always thought self-esteem was a myth that we were taught by LO teachers, but it’s not, it’s a beautiful thing, that’s essential to your happiness. 

Comments

  1. Wow I love your story
    It feels so bad to hear what you went through
    I'm glad you are fine now
    Your story is so touching

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  2. I met you when you were in grade 9 so I'll assume you were 14/15 at the time and I thought you were beautiful! ☺ It amazes me how we all go through things alone that no one else knows about. Glad to see you so happy now!
    ×× Nissa

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