We will beat this distance, I promise you.







As many of you, who follow me on my social media platforms may know, I am in a relationship. I recently celebrated my 5-year anniversary earlier this month, on the 16th of October. But something that you guys may not know, is that 4 of the 5 years (until the end of this year) we are doing this long distance.

When I met my boyfriend, I was finishing up grade 10 and he was at the end of his grade 11 year. We spent the next year dating “normally”, as both of us were in Durban. But the following year, his plan was to go to UCT to study. It dawned upon us that our new-found happiness might come to an end.

But when he did move, he made it his duty to come back every two – three weeks just to see me. We skyped every night, but it was still difficult. The first year was definitely the hardest, getting used to someone not being there all the time, missing important days and not having much time for me when he was at varsity.

During his second year it was still very hard for me to accept that I would not be able to see him whenever I wanted, because that was the year I started university, and had much more free time on my hands. The long phone calls and nightly skypes continued but when we said goodnight, I still felt the emptiness. I would sit at home on weekends on which he couldn’t come and look at pictures of us thinking about the day he would finish his degree and come back to me.

By his third year I started to be okay with it, I realized that he had to do this and that one day it would all be worth it. That year the skypes increased because him coming to see me decreased, for good reason, his workload had really spiked that year. I sort of accepted it because after that year he only had his honors left and then everything would get back to normal.

This year when he started his honors I was positive about the year from the start because this is his final year being in Cape Town. There was no more missing valentine’s day, missing anniversaries, missing birthdays. I realized that this is it, finally after 4 years of eating supper together through a screen, even doing work over skype, he will be coming back, to me.

I think the only way I can explain it, is by saying that you feel like you are disconnected from them. But recently I have felt more connected to him than ever. The lovely Deepa Rama of Hera Creations gifted me with a distance bracelet set. She had taken down my measurements and my boyfriends, and made us a set of bracelets that were made of white howlite and black onyx. A matching set that when each of us wear it, we are thinking of the other person. Not only do I feel happier when I look down at it on my wrist, but when they are near each other they connect at the base.

I wish I had something like this when we first started our long-distance relationship as it would have been the perfect thing to make me feel connected to him when I was sad.

So a little bit of advice to anyone out there that thinks that  your relationship might end if you live in separate cities; if you truly want it to work, it can. You just need to put in the effort, work twice as hard during the day and throughout the week so that you can make time for each other in the evening and on the weekend. Video chat while you’re having dinner, washing the dishes, while you’re tidying up. It all adds up, I promise.

I found this lovely quote that epitomizes how the last few years have felt for me:

I don’t cry because we’ve been separated by distance, and for a matter of years. Why? Because for as long as we share the same sky and breathe the same air, we’re still together.
– Donna Lynn Hope
 


Follow @hera_creations to see all of her beautiful pieces that she creates.

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